Oct 8

Oct 8 Example Text for Setting the Mood when Writing

SNOW AND ROSE by best-selling author Emily Winfield Martin is a fairytale retelling of the Brothers Grimm story Snow White and Rose Red. At just over 200 pages, this novel interspersed with intricate color illustrations is intended for middle grade children. (Though the reviews, which I agree with, will show you that people of all ages are enjoying it.)

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I originally picked up this book because I love just about any fairytale retelling and because the cover (and interior artwork) immediately drew me in.

As a writer continually trying to hone my skills, I’ve developed the habit of reading with a critical eye. When something in a story has an impact on me, I’ve learned to stop and ask myself, “What technique is the author using to make me feel this way?”

While reading the opening scene of SNOW AND ROSE, I was in awe of how the author was able to draw me into the story so quickly and really set the mood for the novel.

I made myself back up and reread to analyze how the author had done this.

The author strategically uses setting and word choice throughout the opening pages to create an almost melancholic mood, which is exactly what you would expect for a fairytale set in a dark forest where eerie things happen.

I’ll include a few example sentences here, but you can read the entire excerpt of the opening pages on the Amazon listing for the book.

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Consider these sentences from the opening pages of the book:

They lived in a cottage in the woods, but it hadn’t always been so.
Snow sat up, her bed creaking. “Rose?” Her whisper drifted in the dark. “Please?”
Rose peered through the gap in the faded screen that turned one small room into two very tiny ones.
The hush of a match sounded as Rose lit the yellow beeswax stump.
“Your feet are freezing,” Snow whispered
…"No, no fairytales….tell the story of us.”
Rose breathed in and pulled the quilt to her chest. She continued the story dutifully, her voice as low as she could make it, so low it was barely there.
She made her way back to her own bed and snuffed out the candle.

By only including a handful of sentences from the opening pages, I’m not able to recreate the powerful sense of atmosphere the author does. But from these samples you can probably get a sense of the mood. You know that it’s dark, quiet (almost silent), and cold, and there probably isn’t enough money to go around (creaking bed, faded screen, stump of a candle). And this isn’t the way life has always been for the characters.

writing notebook, pen and laptop on desk with plant

So why does this matter? Why is it important to consider the mood, especially right at the beginning?

The mood of a story evokes certain emotions in the reader. When a reader is emotionally invested in the story, they are more likely to read on to find out what happens to the main characters.

This is important for us to remember as writers when creating our own stories.

Here’s how to find out if there is a strong enough sense of mood in your opening pages to keep the reader engaged:

Start by asking yourself what emotion you want your readers to experience.
Then ask a writing partner to read the opening pages of your story to see if it creates in them the desired emotion. If not, it’s time to revise.
Look at your description of the setting, word choice, and pacing (long, flowy sentences versus short choppy ones) and see what needs to be altered to coax the reader toward the emotions you want them to experience.
Start revising and keep reworking the opening until your words have the desired emotional impact.